Painful reminder of creating good stuff!

On Saturday I got roped in to doing a [mostly] off road 30 mile mountain bike ride. I naively expected a fun ride. Ah ha!! After taking almost six hours to climb a gut wrenching back breaking 7200 feet, through slippery mud and narrow cobbled tracks, tackling unexpectedly difficult technical downhill aspects of the ride, I finally got to the finish line.

It wasn't quite as simple as that. Halfway through the ride my fiance came off and got a bad dose of road rash on his hip. I suspect he was doing somewhere between 30 - 40mph at the time [nutter!], when he hit a sludgy wet bit on the road. He survived. However, his 8" square wound was dirty and full of gravel. As we were coming in to a small village, we knocked on someones door and asked for help. Long stort short, but eventually an old man and two retired doctors patched him up. This in itself was to me a wonderful reminder of how - when the chips are down - another human being can happily come to our aid.

Around twenty miles in, I hit a stone and was unceremoniously bucked off into a nice deep bed of stingers. It was soft at least and, at the time, I had no idea of how much I should have appreciated that.

Six miles from the end I was consulting with God for it please to be all over. I felt a little bit off with the fairies, as I shot down another long hill on the road to suddenly see a white faced fiance staring up at me as I ploughed into him as he waited at a corner. Once again I ungracefully, but somewhat spectacularly flew over both bikes and landing heavily on my shoulder. A man mowing his lawn, on a ride on mower, casually stopped it and mumbed something, which to me sounded like 'are you dead?'. Yep as I said, fairyland was not too far away.

When we got back to base almost everyone, except the organisers, had gone home. We laughingly told them our story as I clutched my shoulder and gobbled down chilly con carne, pleasantly supplied by the kitchen staff. After a few minutes one man came out and handed me a package, saying that he wanted me to have it. It was a £40.00 Gore cycling top. Now the odd thing about all of this is that at the beginning of the day I had picked up this exact top in the exact size and tried it against me. I had thought to myself that I really liked it, but I only had £10.00 on me. Isn't that weird?

For years I have been trying to perfect the art of creating what I wanted, and suddenly I got it. For me, it's obviously more about a feeling than an intention or a request. I have been practicing for three days and so far it seems to be working. For instance, even after X-rays telling me that nothing was broken, my shoulder was still excrutiatingly painful. On Tuesday I had a 50 mile training ride planned with my cycling buddy and I didn't want to miss out. I had called her on Monday morning to say I wouldn't be going. But during the afternoon I 'told' my shoulder that it was time it got better! Suffice to say that I did my ride yesterday and in super fast speed, knocking a minute a mile off our best time. My shoulder did not hurt at all during the ride. Bit sore now though :-)

It's all a bit weirdy woo, but hey if it works I am all for it right!

Feeding the soul

For many years I have struggled with not knowing what it was that I wanted to do, or be. I have tried or trained in many things and found a sense of nothingness. Despite trying to be passionate it just wasn't happening. I know from experience that so many people feel this way, but have no idea what to do about it.

When my dad died in June 2008, from cancer, I metaphorically left town. Although I appeared to be fine to the outside world, I felt as if I had been thrown over the side of a ship and didn't know which way to swim for home. In short I handed over my future to nothingness. I stopped trying to guide it. I gave up trying to impact it. I stopped looking. It was sometimes scary and sometimes peaceful. It didn't really matter.

Last week I went on a weeks training course to become a Lebed method - dance & movement instructor. I have no idea how I got to be there. I don't remember how the course found me, but it did and something inside of me said 'go for it'.

That week opened up my life in a way that I cannot recall before. I had no idea that dance & movement could make me feel so happy and fulfilled. Each day we practiced the different moves and dances and it got better and better. My terribly stiff neck, back, shoulders and hips disappeared. My movements became more fluid. I became playful and joyous and people responded to my 'energy' In honesty, I don't really think I had felt this way since I was a small child! Oh my god how scary is that? How many people lose their joy and NEVER discover it?

Lebed is a method of movement and dance created by by Shelley Lebed Davis and her two brothers, after their mother was diagnosed with cancer. Shelley was a classical dancer and together with her two doctor brothers they came up with a dance & movement routine that simulated physiotherapy movements, but put together to music and with some creativity in the dance segments.

The opening 15 minutes stimulates the lymph glands to open, helping the lymph fluid to start moving through the lymphatic system. This can help to reduce swelling associated with lymphoedema, and encourage the body to regain full movement, something that can be almost impossible, especially after mastectomy and reconstruction. The movements are slow and rhythmic and beautiful to do.

This first fifteen minutes of the programme will be promoted as a programme to corporate clients. It helps to dissolve stiffness and tension from the body and increases a sense of well being and connection. These, I believe are pre-requisite for a good working life - having suffered from the aches and pains associated with sitting on a PC all day.

It is a fully published and medically recognised programme, operating in over 700 hospitals throughout the world.

My passion for the horse programme has reignited and next year I plan to start afresh, predominantly with a women's programme. My friend Yvette - who I met when she attended the first ever equine workshop that I ran - also trained with me, and we plan to offer women's retreats next year - a combination of Lebed, belly dancing, meditation, open discussion, laughter therapy and whatever else is right at the time.

I can't tell you how to discover your passion. All I know is that - in my working life - I was dead all the way through like a stick of rock. I think that the best thing to do is to give up, let go and hand it over to your soul, your higher self, god or whatever your belief is. It took around nine months for me to discover my passion and that was well worth the sense of loss and isolation I experienced. I believe that we all tend to move away from discomfort too quickly. It is a guide after all, and if we sit in the 'pain' eventually we come out the other side with renewed vigour and with a lightness of our souls.

On the phone

Despite being on the preferential phone list, some sales calls do occasionally manage to get through. And there is one thing that both annoys and amazes me. That is the fact that the sales person launches straight into their spiel, without asking me if it is a good time for me to talk.

I am quite often in the middle of putting orders together for my online shop, or working on html documents for a web site, and it takes a few moments for me to rearrange my brain, in order to be able to listen to another person. Good manners cost nothing and yet reap great rewards, not least of all harmonious relationships.

I am appalled that the callers are part of a 'training system' that does not teach them the basic rudiments of a sales call, which is that we must treat the customers' time as precious. To be honest, during my five years in internal sales and fifteen years in the field, no one actually taught me this. I was trained to sell, not to be polite and respectful of the customers time.

I listened and observed and worked out what was important to people, and I waited patiently until they were ready to move to the next step. In all my years as sales, there was only one company that allowed me total autonomy. All the other companies said that I spent too much time with my accounts, and didn't do enough calls. Number crunching! That isn't the way to success. Building relationships is what does it.

The company that allowed me free rein had six accounts when I started, and within six months I had seventy buoyant accounts, in a difficult market which was architectural hardware.

In all of the companies I worked for, I gained accounts that no other sales people had managed to secure in the past. Why? I don't think I was superb 'salesman' but I simply worked on understanding people. I once asked one of my top customers why he chose to give me his business, and he told me it was because I was different. He said I didn't act like a sales representative, and I treated him like a human being. He gave me a massive amount of business, and point blank refused to deal with any other sales person when I left the company.

At the end of the day, customers are human beings. Just like you they have bad days and good days. They have personal problems, money worries, fears of losing their jobs or their businesses. How much do you really think they want to listen to you banging on about the next super product that is going to change their lives? Not much.

But listen to them, ask them questions, respect and honour who they are and the loyalty you receive will be second to none.

So next time you go to make that call, just think about this and approach your prospective customer as someone that really wants the equivilant of a phone hug, rather than a phone bashing!

Take care

Jan
Tel: 0800 634 3320
http://www.thepeoplewhisperers.co.uk/

Busy or not?

Sometimes days go by and I don't speak to a soul. I need this quiet time. The world today seems like such a busy place. Have you noticed that other people ask you, 'are you busy?' When you answer that you are, they usually say, 'good!'. But what is so great about being busy?

I spent many years being busy, but in truth I got little done - not really. I felt stressed and confused as I tried to convince myself that the busier I was, the more likely I was to succeed. Then I realised that this isn't actually the case, and that I wanted a life where I can choose to be busy, or choose to lie in the garden watching the birds - if that's what I wanted.

It wasn't easy to change, and there are still some days I catch myself being too busy. But now, on a day to day basis I mostly choose what to do. The first two days of this week I was flat out, so this morning I decided to go for my five mile run. It was tough, as it usually is, compounded by my legs aching from a 35 mile fast bike ride at the weekend. But I came home, had breakfast and shower and a cuppa and then decided yeah OK, maybe I can do some work now.

My creativity was enhanced. I was able to make quick decisions on a current project and I handed over some work that I was finding time consuming and fiddly. The fact is that when we are too busy, we don't have a lot of room for creativity. Those creative moments can be the difference between a life fulfilled or a life overshadowed by stress.

Which would you choose?

Take care

Jan
Tel: 0800 634 3320
http://www.thepeoplewhisperers.co.uk/

Is it me? Oh god I am talking politics!

Did I hear right on the radio news this morning? Has Gordon Brown suggested that the recession is on its way to recovery?

Sadly, I couldn't find a picture of a flying pig, so had to make do with a tiny pocket sized pig in which to put your savings! Savings? Ha!

Now I am not one for discussing politics, and I am most definitely not one for negative expression, but just lately I have begun to wonder about the sanity of our government.

I agree with the principle that businesses, newly streamlined and more customer focused, may well do better than they did before - maybe. But, really come on guys, we can't just bounce out of a crippling recession like a big black Labrador wagging a wet tail! The very idea is madness.

We crawl out of the big black hole of a recession by hooking a tired finger onto a raggedy bit of chewed up blanket tied to a precarious rock. We bite our worn out old teeth into new projects and refuse to let go, or give up no matter what. We stand unclothed, with nothing but a large medieval sword at our side and challenge 'the world' to just try and knock us down.

Yes, I for one am thinking in a more enterprising way. I have restructured and am retraining in other areas to work towards a recession proof business of the future, but that is naff all to do with GB's input, in fact it is possibly in spite of it.

We have to become enterprising, ingenious and look for opportunities. But when they do, it doesn't mean the recession is over. It just means we are tough enough to deal with it in our own way.

It makes my blood boil when idiots running the government tell us, the people in the 'eye of the storm' so to speak, what is happening out here! Are these drongos encased in some sort of bullet proof purple floaty bubble and only watch loony toons on TV?

So, is it me, or does anyone else running a small business out there feel the same?

Grrh

Jan

New life on a Saturday morning

What a wonderful start to my day! Whilst out in the field this morning I heard a cow making a horrible noise. I thought she was dying, so stopped to watch and listen to see what was happening. I saw her straining, and wondered if she was in calf. The farmer usually keeps them in the barn when they are due to calf, so this was unusual. Anyhow, very soon I saw a calf being pushed from her and relaxed.

But all was not well. The calf was stuck mid section. The heifer was walking around in small circles and had given up pushing {This was 10am and I learned later that she had been struggling since 5:30am}

Telling the dogs to wait, I hopped over the fence and walked over. The calf looked dead. Talking quietly to mum, I told her that I had come to help, I pulled the birth sac off the calf, and cleared the mucus from his nose. His eyes blinked. Hooray, he was alive. I grabbed his wet slippery legs and tried pulling. Nothing. He wasn't going to budge. I had two dog leads in my pocket, so I tied one to his legs and pulled. Nothing. I wrapped it round my waist and pulled. Nothing.

I pulled and pulled but he didn't shift. I removed the rope and wondered about going for help. No. I decided to have one more go. Tying the rope back round his legs, I pulled again. This time I was sure he had moved a little. I pulled again. Plop! Out he came. I cleared his nose again and his mum turned and started licking away the afterbirth. I moved back and watched to see that they were both ok.

What an incredible moment. I felt so grateful.

Ten minutes later I spotted Roger - the farm labourer - in the tractor, driving into the yard. I went and told him what had happened. He said that the heifer was a 'right nasty old bitch', but I was surprised at this as she had been relaxed and calm with me, even when I didn't go away once the baby was born. I believe that when we don't have a history about others our approach is unbiased and so we often get a better response.

I walked back to watch them both, amused to see baby struggling to get to his feet. Falling, time after time as mum increased her vigorous licking, he eventually managed to get up onto all fours. Mum tried to steer him to the teats. He licked on her hairy black chest. You could feel mum's frustration as he tried to suckle in so many different places. But eventually he got it.

A little wet calf on a cold windy morning, hands and coat covered in blood and mucus, but happy as a sand boy! Does it get any better than this?

Beliefs versus inspiration

For many years, I wrote a lot about beliefs. I figured that, to change our lives, all we had to do was change our beliefs. That's still kind of true for me, but over the last few weeks I have been having some different experiences, of the type that has made me question if we actually need beliefs at all.

Some of you that subscribe to my newsletters, know that I often tell stories about how my physical challenges appear to have a dramatic effect on my mental & emotional state. And, I think that my current state of mind has everything to do with my running programme.

I started running in January - for fun. As My fitness improved, I somehow found myself entering races. Having only ever run 3 miles during training, I entered a 10k race and did OK, running the whole way round and I wasn't last. Now, I wanted to stretch myself, and at the weekend admitted to my fiance that I am now considering entering a Marathon in 2010. Oh my god! Did I ever think I would ever have that thought! I thought marathon runners were either bonkers or extraordinary people. I know now that they are just like you and me.

A few weeks ago I developed a hatred for my computer. I spend far too long tapping away on here every day. That week I just couldn't do it. I run an online equestrian products business, and simply completed my orders and then spent the rest of the time appearing to do nothing. It's not as if I haven't done 'nothing' before, but this time I savoured it, I enjoyed every moment and there wasn't a shadow of guilt. It was truly wonderful.

That down time is so important, and I know that it is something that many people would never consider. During that period of reflection, I spent time sitting on my garden wall, watching the lambs and calves with their mums in the fields. The six premature lambs at the back of my house were getting stronger.

They had now formed a 'gang' as lambs inevitably do, and were charging up and down the field. They jumped over the small ditch, leaping in the air, kicking sideways, turning and doing it again. When they were tired they slumped down behind the wall, or collapsed next to mum. I thought to myself that animals are great teachers to show us how we could live, if we were not tied to tradition, money and societal pressures. I turned my thoughts to how I lived my life.

It was at that point that I decided to {try to} give up my beliefs. I stand by my values of honesty, integrity and truth but wanted to explore a life without beliefs. Instead, I decided to allow inspiration to guide me and just see where that went.

It's early days, but I can tell you that my life is moving in a different way. I am calmer, happier and enjoying the flow of seeing what comes next. I don't have an eye on the future anymore, I just enjoy 'right now'. Inspiration has led me to make contact with new people, seemingly out of the blue, and embrace new experiences {good or bad} with passion, playfulness and joy.

Just give it a try. Notice when your beliefs are driving you or limiting you. Once you become aware, then just take a deep breath and allow inspiration to guide you next. It might feel weird at first, but within a short time you will wonder why you never tried it before.

Take care

Jan
Tel: 0800 634 3320
http://www.thepeoplewhisperers.co.uk/