The question is....

As a trained coach, I quickly saw the benefits of using powerful questions with my clients. Powerful, not in the sense of being challenging or overtly direct, but just asking the right question based on my observations of what they were saying. Questions also based on what they were not saying.

One of my clients struggled with finding focus in her life. As we worked through a layout of her day, I wondered how she managed to find the time to eat! As we then began to chunk down all of her tasks, I asked her what things she wanted to do and what things she felt she 'had to do'. As she did this I notice that she said 'I should...' about some of the tasks.

I pointed this out to her and asked her how great doing something she felt she should do was. Naturally she replied that it was pretty rubbish, and that she wanted to do the things she wanted to do, not should do.

By working on self questions like this we can quite easily identify aspects of our days that drain our energy, and replace them with things that energise us. My client shaved off half off her workload by allocating some of it to other people, and started to enjoy her days doing as she wished to do - which was to build a new business.

One of the questions I ask myself when making a decision on a task is, 'Will doing this enhance my life/growth/business/relationships [any one thing can apply] or take something away from it?'

Getting into a coaching mindset of asking open questions can significantly improve the way that you deal with day to day difficulties, particularly in relationships.

Jan
Tel: 0800 634 3320
http://www.womenssuccesscoach.co.uk/
http://www.thepeoplewhisperers.co.uk/
http://www.helpforcancer.co.uk/

JAN'S PODCAST

Letting Go

There is one person in your life that puts you under more pressure than anyone else.

That person is YOU!

Sadly it often takes a life changing event to make us realise how hard we drive ourselves. For me it started with the death of my dad and, at the same time, a very sick horse.

My priorities had to stand on their head for over three months as I nursed the horse. At the end of it I became aware of how unbalanced my life was. I spent little time enjoying the good things and people in my life, and I was so in the middle of my business that I could not assess progress, or create more definable strategies.

I changed it, and guess what happened? I simply switched to another equally unbalanced process, spending too much time doing what I wanted and not enough time working. Would I ever get it right?

It's work in progress, and I think it is like that for most of us. These days I tend to do what I feel like doing and let go of the things that I feel I 'should' be doing. It's early days, and I am a bit of a blank canvas with few paints. But, in the main 'letting go' has removed a vast amount of pressure. I no longer beat myself up for doing or not doing, and I allow myself downtime if I feel stressed or tired.

Strangely, it seems that I am actually able to get more work done by being less driven by it. A bit of pressure is a necessary thing, we all need a little stress in order for us to get things done. But the last thing we need is to be getting on at ourselves night and day. So let it go. It may feel a little odd at first, but stay with it for a week or two and see what happens.

Jan
Tel: 0800 634 3320
http://www.womenssuccesscoach.co.uk/
http://www.thepeoplewhisperers.co.uk/
http://www.helpforcancer.co.uk/

JAN'S PODCAST

Fear

In todays society we are conditioned into a collective consciousness of fear. One only has to watch or listen to the news to wonder what on earth is happening to our world.

Violence and instability dominates the headlines, and we somehow begin to feel that we are a part of it all.

Lack of self esteem also grounds us into the muddy ruts of our lives. We become apathetic, powerless, angry or depressed. There is much talk of 'inner strength' but how is that accessed when the mind and body is frozen with fear?

In my experience, I have observed that the first stage in conquering fear is to simply notice when and how we are feeling it. There may be some physical symptoms like: -

• Shallow breathing


• Tight chest


• Shaking


• Feeling of panic


• Heightened senses

It is also pretty much 100% certain that your 'inner voice' will be frantically throwing food to the fear, trying to convince you that the fear is justified.

What to do
Simply become aware that this is an aspect of your inner self that thinks it is helping you. Listen and observe and then choose to ignore it. Pushing it away will give it power, but listening and then choosing to feel a different way, will weaken its grip on you.

Fear is like a bottle of lemonade that has been shaken up. As long as we keep shaking the bottle, the pressure will grow. But releasing the pressure a little at a time will enable us to open the bottle fully when the pressure has abated. This is a little like our state of fear.

When you learn how to become witness to your emotions you automatically begin to develop emotional intelligence. This state of being allows you to make positive choices about the way you react to and interact with your world. You don't have to be part of the drama of life. You can write our own script and choose which part you play.

Fear only has the power to imobilise you if you allow it to. So next time you recognise this state creeping up on you, watch, listen and learn.

Jan
Tel: 0800 634 3320
http://www.womenssuccesscoach.co.uk/
http://www.thepeoplewhisperers.co.uk/
http://www.helpforcancer.co.uk/

JAN'S PODCAST

When things get you down.....

1. Accept the situation
Resisting your situation makes you feel worse. Accept things as they are and your brain will find solutions. You cannot change what has happened, so it is better – and healthier – to start asking yourself, “How can I overcome this?”

2. Welcome change
Nothing [ever] stays the same and, in my experience, when people look at change as a positive event, the fear reduces and they start taking action.

3. Don’t be a victim
If you blame a person or external event for your situation, you have by definition become a victim. Make it a habit to take responsibility for your own life, and not appoint blame.

4. Recognise opportunity
Adversity is always an opportunity for growth. When life gets tough say to yourself, “Something great is going to come of this”. At first it will feel insincere, but keep at it and it will become second nature.

5. Find support
Find a mentor, someone who doesn’t buy into failure, a person that will say, “What are you going to do next?” and then support you through each step. Do not allow pessimistic people to hold you back by feeding into negativity. Good support will reinforce your decisions and actions, and give encouragement when your optimism is floundering.

Have a great day!

Jan
Tel: 0800 634 3320
http://www.womenssuccesscoach.co.uk/
http://www.thepeoplewhisperers.co.uk/
http://www.helpforcancer.co.uk/

JAN'S PODCAST